Mommy vs. Wife....

Here is a quote from my cousin Kristi's Blog that I had to post and I LOVE:

"I hear people say "being a mom is what you do, it's not who you are.....be careful to keep your identity" my identity?? Pretty sure my identity is now Wife, Mother with "Kristi" sprinkled throughout it all. "

Mommy Vs. Wife......

*This is a controversial topic with Christian women, therefore you do not have to agree with me...I am just stating my opinion.

I have read quite a few parenting books like "Attachment Parenting" (which I love) by Dr. William Sears..."Growing Kids God's Way" by Gary Ezzo (read it just for kicks and giggles) and more. By the way Gary Ezzo is the most uneducated author I have ever read and has written the most outragious parenting book "growing kids god's way".... Medically speaking, he doesn't know what he is talking about. He gives horrible advice that I have actually researched and found to not be true. What I noticed from Gary Ezzo's book and have heard from other Christian women at church and so forth is that you have to put your marriage relationship over the relationship you have with your children. Don't get me wrong, I understand that you have to have a strong thriving marriage relationship to keep the family going, to create a strong foundation, to show your children that mommy and daddy love each other and to show how a great marriage works. Me and Kyle go on "date nights" at least 2 to 4 times a month (thanks to my mom who baby sits). We typically go to a restaurant and then do a movie...we have a wonderful time and look forward to those dates. With that being said we also LOVE to do things the three of us....like our daily trip to the park or our nightly walk around the neighborhood. Me and Kyle know a blessing when we see it....and we have definitely been blessed by Jeremiah's existence and his zest for life. But why do I have to put one over the other??? why can't they co-exist at the same level? They don't have to be categorized....at least I don't think so. They are different types of Loves....The love I have for Jeremiah as his mommy has been a natural/unconditional love from before he was born and grew even more once he was born....on the other hand my Love for Kyle has grown over the last 8 years, it is not unconditional...it is something that we both work on daily and put a lot of effort into keeping our marriage thriving and amazing (which it is). So how could you put one LOVE over the other LOVE when they are two different kinds of love in my eyes. If me and Kyle are talking and Jeremiah needs a diaper change or food....we stop what we are doing and help him since he is unable to do it himself....we put him first sometimes. There are other times when he is just fussing because he wants attention.....so we distract him with a toy and finish our talk. Once Jeremiah is older we can tell him that we are talking and to please come back in a few minutes unless it is urgent. There are times that Jeremiah is put before me by Kyle and I am ok with that (like kisses when Kyle gets home...Jer can't wait)....I am an adult!!!! There are times when Jeremiah is sad and needs a hug and Kyle has to wait for a second....it's ok he is an adult!!! Gary Ezzo makes it very clear that when the dad gets home from work that there should be "parent time" for like 15 minutes with no interrupting before the kids can play with dad.....to show the kids that the marriage relationship is superior to the relationship he has with the kids....THAT'S CRAP! I don't put either one above each other....I love them both equally with a 100% each. I will also not play favorites with any of our children...I want everyone to feel that they are equally loved and cherished. We are balanced.....we make our marriage work and we make our relationship with our children work! Why do we have to play favorites???